Chewy Snickerdoodles

Well, so. I got a hankering for snickerdoodles today. Actually, any old cookie would've done me justice, but I had no chocolate chips, already have a good sugar cookie recipe with pictures on the blog, didn't feel like roll-outs or refrigerator-type cookies, and had no real butter. It was desperate times.

Then I remembered this: The big tub of oleo that sits on top of my refrigerator with all the cereal boxes.
Let's get this out of the way: Crisco shortening has NO redeeming qualities. This I know. Don't bother even looking at the ingredients, because we all know it's going to say "hydrogenated" at least four times and for the record, it can't be good for you if it has a shelf life of over a year and still be "butter-flavored". I know I know I know.
I used it often back in my college days, but for the past few years, I've gotten high and mighty and would buy tons of real butter on sale, freeze it, and use it for baking. But I regressed a few weeks ago when I was all out of real butter and it was over $2.50 for a pound and I was not about to pay that much for butter. We're on a budget now, right? I slunk to the baking aisle and guiltily put the Crisco in my basket.
If I die of a heart attack (which I probably will), I'm blaming it on the fake lard.

"Tina, you FAT LARD!" Sorry, I couldn't help myself. (It's probably the only movie quote I know.)

Can I just insert one more little story about Crisco? So, the same old thing happened to me about a year ago, I was making cookies to take to work and had about half as much butter as I needed. So I added Crisco to supplement my butter.
I took the cookies to work and one lady, this little 90 lb. gal that is waaay granola-esque in her eating habits grabbed one from the plate. She was gushing, "Ooh, these look delicious! I just love it when you bring in treats because I know you only ever use top-quality ingredients, blah blah blah..." She had eaten half the cookie and was raving and added, "of course you do use real butter, right?" And I had to look down at my toes and sheepishly admit that I had put half shortening in this time.
And.
She.
Spit out the cookie into the trash!!!!
I was shocked. Actually, shocked doesn't even really describe it.

So now for the recipe, right?

Thick and Chewy Snickerdoodles

Whatchew Need:

1 cup shortening (fine, use softened butter if you're pure)
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
2 egg yolks
1 whole egg
1/2 tsp. salt
2 Tbsp. cornstarch
1 tsp. baking soda
3 cups flour

Whatchew Do:
In a bowl, drop in a cup of Crisco. Beat in sugar until fluffy.


Add about a teaspoon of vanilla.

Beat in egg and egg yolks, one at a time. There are four things that make this cookie thick and chewy:

The addition of egg yolks.

Cornstarch.

Three cups of flour to make a stiff dough.

Not over-baking.

If you can remember that, you can make any kind of cookie thick and chewy! Victory!

After the eggs, add salt.

And add cornstarch. See my bent measuring spoon? I have no idea why it's bent. But I have a guess, even though I'd never bring up such an accusation.

Bother, why not? Let's do it Clue-like. My ten-year old brother would approve.

I accuse the Mister of dipping ice cream with the measuring spoon in the kitchen!

That's just a ripe guess.
Now, into the mix, add the baking soda. Some people like to sift their dry ingredients in a separate bowl, but I'm too quick and lazy for that. It might mean I'd have to wash a whole extra bowl.

Okay, beat in three cups of flour. Or beat in 2 1/2 cups and see how stiff the dough is. You want it pretty stiff.

Roll the dough into balls. I do use a cookie scoop, but since the dough is dry, you might need to shape it better after you've portioned the little balls out.

Dang, my hand looks huge!

Cinnamon and sugar: this is what makes a snickerdoodle doodle. My cinnamon/sugar mix ratio is about 2 Tbsp. cinnamon to 1/3 cup sugar. Do as you wish.

Then roll the balls in the mix.

And flatten them slightly with the back of a spoon.

Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet at 350 degrees for about 7-9 minutes. They'll be crackly-looking and set, but not too brown.

If you cook them too long, they might be thick but not chewy.

This should resolve all your earthly problems for the time being. Unless you can't stand the thought of butter-flavored shortening passing your lips. In that case, use real butter.